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Cockpit Plants Rating List

You know, those pesky cockpit plants the Frontier store keeps wanting you to buy? Well, look no more, here is the definitive tier list for those plants.

1 - THE CACTUS

Look, this is a cactus. Cacti are awesome. They just need you to vaporize a bit of water once in a while, for example when you're cleaning the canopy. Awesome little things also have nice flowers that never go away due to the magic of advanced 3rd millenium gardening techniques.

Oh, and if you're being boarded they can double as a close combat weapon.

Solid 9/10.

2 - THE FAT PLANT

Yes I do know this is a succulent, but in French we call them plantes grasses, which litteraly means "fat plants" and I am going to use this because come on, look at these leaves. I think in early 2nd millenium parlance they said thicc. Fine. It's a thicc plant.

8/10 for the nicely colored plant pot.

3 - THE SPIKY PLANT OF DOOM

Look on the one hand those spikes are definitively trying to kill you. On the other hand the comment about improvised melee weapons is even more relevant with this one. I think it should be possible to accelerate it to weapons-grade velocities to damage modules. Someone should try that.

7/10, will bash pirates with plants again.

4 - THE ALIEN POTATO

The french version of Elite calls those anĂ©mones, which are common garden flowers. Look, if my anemones (as the british would call them) looked like this I'd call an exorcist and a bombing run, preferrably in this order. Anyway, I have zero idea what this thing even classifies as, and I am not even sure the brown parts are a plant. Something tells me they just sold you a block of wood and called it a day. On the bright side of things, no watering.

6/10 because I don't know what it is and mystery sells.


5 - THE BRAINS FROM SPACE

My day was ruined when I understood that brain trees aren't actual brains. Anyway, as if they weren't creepy enough from afar now you can have one of them in your cockpit! Which, now that I consider it, is probably the worst environment for plants that grow in airless, extremely cold conditions, but hey - if they look like they're going to die, maybe pulverizing your canopy will save them. I am sure some thargoids will gladly help you with that.

Yes, 3306 ships still don't have an "open canopy" option. The patent was lost somewhere in the third world war.

6/10 because they can be a good anti-stress ball, if you can ignore the brain-like texture.

6 -  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I don't have a clever title so this is the raw, unalduterated first thought that crossed my mind upon seeing those things. I am of the opinion that we are dealing with the closest the vegetal realm has produced to a facehugger.

Vent it. Now.

10/10, best plant but not in your cockpit. 

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